Sunday, December 28, 2008
You reach across to the glove compartment
I know it's no accident
Your hands brush against my thighs
I look at you, and wonder why
I close my eyes and take a deep breath
I feel empty, I feel full
We step out of the car now
We walk 10 feet a part
I look up at the sky
Dark clouds thirstyly swallow the magenta
I feel like I want to hold you
Around you I am safe
I imagine the warmth of your body against mine
The magenta will mourn the dark clouds
You try to keep close about 8 feet now
Im walking infront of you
I stop and look at you
Our eyes linger
You know I'm saying 'no'
I look away and keep moving
We reach a grotesque building of somesort
The air is thick and grey
You reach out to hold my hands to keep me safe
I pull my hands away
Im crying now, I keep walking
Drawn into the mouth of that grotesque thing.
I hear it calling to me.
Im inside now.
So many doors.
I turn around, left and right
All I hear is silence
All I see is walls and doors
No light, well just enough to see
I feel someone present with me
Who is it?
I look around frantically
Maybe its just the echo of my thoughts
My ears don't resonate my fast hearbeat
My throat doesn't get tighter
This horrific place feels like home
It's so familiar that I anticipate an occurance
Where is it coming from?
That thing that is making my heartbeat faster
That thing that is making it hard to swallow
I want it to show itself
In my head now are memories
Memories of you
Memories of all of them
I truly do love you, all of you
Not a heart I meant to shred
But still I want to see this
This thing that dwells in such grotesque a place
This thing that clutches my heart
This thing that thickens my saliva
This thing that I can't see with my eyes
But feel with every inch upto the end of my hairs
It gets intense now
Heart pounds faster
I feel as though I might faint
I clutch at my chest and
And I feel something peering at me
Frozen. I turn around
It is hideous
I want to be sick on its repulsiveness
I grow pale
That monster and me are eye to eye now
His green mishapen body perched upon a broken roman like pillar
He is not very big at all
About 3 feet.
He peers into my thoughts with his red eyes
His razor sharp shark like teeth on display
Sadistic is his grin that beckons me toward him
I speak to this creature
Trying to be as confident as I can
As much as it repulses me I can't deny the sense of familiarity
It has a man's voice but very loud
Every word that comes out of its mouth drains me more
It still smiles at me
Why am I talking to this feindish thing?
I turn to walk away
At the side of my eye I see the green thing go
'Go ego. Leave me. Never come back'
I'm set free!
Blood rushes back to my face and limbs
Till the tips of my hair
Just as my lips curl into a smile
Air is sucked out of me
Eyes wide open
One of the doors swing open
I run towards it
There is a body
A body on the floor
I'm trembling all over
'No its not him. It can't be. Please god. No'
I recite this as I get nearer.
Alas! My deepest fear lies before my very eyes
You lie bare and lifeless before me
Poisoned by a monster
I kneel before you my forbidden lover
As you lie there just as you were when we first met
13 years ago
Only now you lay lifeless
Lifeless and green
Greened by the monster
The Egoistic monster that kneels before you