Thursday, May 29, 2008


I snapped this pic when I was on the Star LRT. He he I didn't do this but I wish I did =p Whats wrong with it anyway? This Sign looks way way cooler than them old skool ones! Dontcha think? Which brings me to my point... why do we have to let go of aesthetics values for practicality? The two can be married and live happily ever after like in Japan. Checkout these manhole covers... don't they leave you gob smacked? Why are we so rigid?

Manhole Cover 1 - Japan

Manhole Cover 2 - Japan

Manhole Cover 3 - Japan

Which brings me to something else...we are so exposed to regime since we were children. Line up, stand at ease, sit, stand, keep quiet... and so on. We dare not ask questions even. We are a community who doesn't express themselves for fear of 'what others may say/think'. This is a syndrome...a syndrome that has to be cured. You may argue that nowadays the youngsters especially the urban are expressing themselves widely through arts and music and such. But have u been to a concert in Malaysia? The crowd is awfully well behaved...too well behaved that they need to be summoned for in appropriate behavior! Yes. It is inappropriate to sit and watch while DejaVoodooSpells is rockin out in front! Yes. It is inappropriate that you only stand up when Missy Elliot walks right up to you and practically begs you to stand up and enjoy the music. What? Are we robots? Even a robot can be programmed to have fun! But worst of all the artist in front would be feeling sooooo de-motivated. Its just a sad sight that needs to be mended.

Of course not everyone falls into the same category. But if u are the kind who is on your seat instead of your feet when Sayla,TRS,DEP, is doin thier thing... u better better stand up! Show them some love yow! And don't be afraid to just let go.... feel free to express yourselves. if u just cant cos u are a robot then programme yourself to have fun! For the sake of progress at least. expression = progress. What is the point of bottling up anyway?

To sum it up, I would say it's time we taught the younger generation and each other about expressing ourselves. Im not talking about expressing your anger by vandalizing public spaces or wadeva. Just be yourself and do not be afraid to shine!

We will go along way by marrying the arts and sciences because they were married anyway but we thought were so smart and separated them. They naturally belong together and together they will bring us progress as individuals and a nation.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Coke, Limbo Rock, Envy

The ice is melting. Don't you hate it when the ice melts in your Coke (if u drink coke - if not imagine your fav drink)? When you just got it, its just so terribly good! Everyone ones some! Even if you aren't passing it around some one would somehow manage to get it off your hands. But after awhile...the ice melts! That's when it happens...the drink is just left lying at some corner..maybe someone may take a sip or 2...make a 'eeyuew' face and walkaway promising never to let his taste buds go through that again. But the drink is coming to its end... even you who bought it just cant down it no more...U know how that is right? Good. Then you would understand when I say the ice in my blog is melting. I need to top up the drink and the ice.
Ive just been really busy...mentally as well. And that has somehow managed to suck dry my urge to write. Im in a place right now that is not too fun. A place called limbo. No. Don't get it confused with the 'Limbo Rock' by Chubby Checker, Im talking limbo as in heaven or hell! (Ok maybe thats tooooo dramatic - but you get the picture) So right now Id rather be doing the limbo rock though i know i cant go that low. Whadeva!
I have to choose. Get a 'proper' job that guarantees a monthly pay while I do my masters. OR model. I don't know I don't know I don't know! Well I do know actually.. I wana model! Its shit loads of fun (its just an I don't find shit loads fun) but the income is so not stable.If only money really did grow on trees. i wana be a monkey.
So as for now my decision is apply for the job and whatever and do part time modeling...but the thing is as a model I wana be big...real BIG (not literally). I don't know If you can do it all and own it all.....

SO latest gig was the Envy Magazine launch at KL Pac on 26 May (i know its sick and your eyes hurt but green is the colour of envy..eheh) .Well ok...I was given a hungover look. ...but I think it would have been a whole lot easier if they just skipped the make up and given me few bottles. ~hik~

The Event Rawked cos... 1. I met my ex student - Jas. He was in the show too! We were excited to see each other and when we first met he addressed me as Ms Jay but in the make up room I could have sworn that he had called me JAY. Ehehe =p Dont you think his make up looks like that beautiful King from 300?
2. Good food! Lotsalotsa oysters!Thanks to Emad!

The Event was Hilarious cos.... 1. The editor of the mag and this other lady said 'Oh congratulations forwining Malaysian Dreamgirl!' 'I did?hahaha' then they start pointing at each other 'I thought you watched it?!''I thought u did''but..u tod me..' and im like still laughing and having a good time watching them. Then I say 'Well thank you very much anyway...for thinking I should have won..I do feel very honored' hahaha. That was crazy. BTW the pic on the left is me and the editor of Envy - Shahrezzam.

So as I was saying I will try my best to keep the drink nice and strong. Warn me if u cant drink it anymore!

I have some more stuff to post but yet to find the time. In the mean time do not lose hope on me. Yes. I WOVE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO ~_~

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Cenfad Icon Show

So last weekend was a crazy long weekend for me. And part of the crazy weekend was the Cenfad Icon Show. I was to walk for Vicky (thats all I know her as - Vicky from Korea) Vicky had booked me months ago through her friend Michelle who just graduated as well. Lets fast forward few days shall we.....

The Fitting Session:
I was at work in Taman Maluri and Vicky tells me that Cenfad (before this Ive been thinking she said Stamford! Till I read it in the sms that is) is behind Nikko Hotel and I have to look for Jalan Stonor(named after some pot head?) So there I go driving up and down and eventually she tells me that its actually Jalan Kia Peng which is also connected to Jalan Stonor.... and I had been passing that place god many times =| hehe its ok Vicky I suck at roads too. Totally feel ya gurl. Well the good news is Im still early! And the fitting was over in a jiffy. Only problem was the dress was wee to tight and a bit short. But my designer says its ok. So if the designer is kewl that it must be kewl

Pre Show:
We (Vicky's models) have to do our own hair and make up. She told me the call time is supposed to be at 2pm but I say I can only make it at 5pm. So Im back from Klang by 4pm and start the fight with the hair dryer and hairbrush and move on to the ultimate fight with the fake lashes and the lash glue... of course I win at the end! hehe.

In Cenfad:
I walk in to the backstage...."Hi JAAAY!" I get a hug and air kisses. "HI!" I say but quite lost as to who she is. So familiar....Oh wait its that new model from aizat.cinta.goddess page! Elena!TAlk Talk talk socialize socialize. Vicky decides my hair would be better bunned up instead of straight down since its evening wear. Her lecturer is going to do it for me. I walk into the room and a familiar face! Its Aunty!I stand right in front of him with my hands on my hips...

"Hey! HI!"he says.

"And how are you!?"

"Im looking fabulous!"(big laugh, head flip back)

"yeap u sure are"

"Im 60 you know"

"Well you dont look it!"

He is such an animated guy. A character indeed. While he does my hair......

"Oh so much baby hair! You know what they say? People with a lot of baby hair very passionate about things, especially in bed"

---------long silence----------

"Why you so quiet? Dah takut ke?"

"Well actually no...Im just thinking about it...if Im passionate....Hmmm...u just said that cos in Malay babay hair is called rambut gatal! Haha I know! Right?right?"

Big Laughter in agreement.

So well Amber Chia was also there but the picture didnt really turn out...maybe I'll try muckin around with it a bit and see if I can post it. But anyhow I had a lot of fun. One outfit, One power walk, Some pictures, Got paid, FINISHO!

All the pictures I have is courtesy of Elisha whom I happen to have met on Facebook just few days before the show! What a coincidence!

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Frida Kahlo Project

With reference to Incoherent Thoughts - Fear, Dissorientation, Calm, Excitement, Envy, Lust and such.. (...14.May) I am putting up more disjointed thoughts in anticipation for it to be translated into a series of paintings. This project shall be called The Frida Kahlo Project in honor of the narcissistic, creative , incoherent thoughts of the late Frida Kahlo.

I'm at the backstage
I study the chart
We are to do five poses
There are many of us
Around 17-19
He walks in
I'm so distracted
'Look at the chart, concentrate!'
(I can't) his hair is beautiful
Black, Long, Curly, Bouncy
Features enhanced
I know it's make up
We all do
But beneath I know he is pretty

I go for dinner
He is there
A life sized Barbie
Skin so flawless
I want to take him home
Put him in my closet, or shelf
I tell him how beautiful he is - he blushes
I want him - Its awkward
This man dressed as a woman
Im so attracted to
I can't say why

Im trying on gold
Im getting married
We go to a bridal shop
They all look at me
Im naked
A try on many gowns
I settle for more gold
I like the gold on me
My man likes it too
He likes my gold skin better
I can feel he wants me
He swallows hard on his saliva
I lean forward, eyes closed
Feel is breath hot on my face
Mother calls me....

The man is at a charity event
Dressed in his tux
He dances with a child - she stands on his feet
Joy in her eyes, Joy in his
Joy turns to pain
Clutches his heart, falls down
The ambulance arrives
He fights the pain in vain
Hearts stop
The Grimm Reaper has arrived
He can't stop smiling
I can't stop crying
He was a good man
The daughter doesnt hug me
Doesn't want to
She is angry
Angry at Death for this should not be

I'm on top of a hill
The wind is in my hair
I see his son
He is handsome, just like his father
He prepares for the funeral
Not a shed of tear
but...As the priest hits the last hole on the pot
He cries and cries a lot

Yesterday a little girl wanted to play a game
'Snoopy is dead! Let's have a funeral!'
Her mother gasps, shocked
'Don't talk like that!'
The child laughs with glee
No one wants to play
But the child does.

Comp Card

What do you think of my new Comp Card? BTW its is so NOT called a Call Card. 'hunny I am a model not a call girl' (said with one eye brow raised, lips pursed, hand on hip while snappin finger and head).

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Incoherent Thoughts - Fear, Dissorientation, Calm, Excitement, Envy, Lust and such..

In a State of Abstraction;

Following is an account of a dream. I had found it recorded on pieces of paper while spring cleaning. For some odd reason I don't remember why I had woken up and written down the visions projected by my wandering mind that night. This was some time back...but I thought I would share it with you.
BEWARE - Disconnected content. You are advised to read with an open mind and loads of imagination ~_~

My mom and some other is here
I am to walk into this room
There are many rooms
I don't want to
I feel fear
There is a spirit inside
I don't know if it's good or evil
I'm scared but they ask me to go in....
I go in.
The curtains open as if someone is drawing them
My heart thumps fast, pupils dilate
There is someone (spirit) there with me
I try not to bother but I can't
I run out, I scream and shout, Im crying , Shaking like mad
'This is hysteria isn't it?' I cry/shout to my mom
'I'm stronger than this' I say

We go to a fair
This is to distract me
The view is pretty
We are parked on a hill of some sort
And the activities are taking place in a valley of some sort
I see many familiar faces
My best friend Bulma is there too
I see here clearly, planning, arranging
Im down in the valley
Sitting at a table
She is there with me
We aren't talking
She is getting on my nerves
I hate her
She keeps on talking about him
She hurts me; doesn't seem to need me
I walk away
The seats are velvet or suede
I like it
They remind me of some elite clubs
I find him at the far end
I sit myself on the ground
between his legs
He is close to me
I feel his body heat on mine
skin on mine
My hands, arms are near or on his thigh, leg
I move my elbow backward softly
It touched him there
He jolts back
I pretend Im sorry 'it was a mistake'
A sinister smile within
then he looked at me with those beautiful eyes
We looked at each other
She comes and joins us, we stop looking
I'm ok with it I think

International L Day!

Bloody hell.... I'm pretty sure that today is freakin International Lazy Day! I cant freakin concentrate at all... actually I don't even feel like blogging... All I have been doing is sitting down n clickin my mouse around...not even playing games for fear I might have to use my mind to actually click FACEBOOK, search search stuff on Google ...I dont even feel like chatting...

me: very slow day today...
atie: yup
Sent at 3:31 PM on Wednesday
me: wat u doin?
atie: nuthin
i pening kepala
u dah tulis blog?
Sent at 3:49 PM on Wednesday
me: no
no mood at all
Sent at 3:50 PM on Wednesday
atie: same here
Sent at 3:52 PM on Wednesday
me: d time is movin fuckin slowly today
smlm i ader shoot
nanti ader kat magazine
but duno when
its for shu uemura
makeup nye
Sent at 3:54 PM on Wednesday
atie: wow
magazine ape?
Sent at 4:01 PM on Wednesday
me: female, ni-yuo (some chinese mag thing) and something like littleblackbook
i dunno
but d first 2 yea la
Sent at 4:02 PM on Wednesday
atie: wow
ok let me know wen its out k
me: okies
Sent at 4:06 PM on Wednesday
atie: u komen ape kat gambar bday oc?
Sent at 4:08 PM on Wednesday
me: nothin ah...
just that 'hahaha poyo'
atie: ooohh ok
i malas nak bukak facebook
Sent at 4:13 PM on Wednesday
me: tak yah
not worth
atie: hm i kno
im also tgh fikir how to earn more money
me: bladdy hell
yday i bought bread
n its 20sen more
Sent at 4:20 PM on Wednesday
atie: tu la
everythings more expensive
me: 20 SEN!
thats alot to go up wei
atie: i know
Sent at 4:22 PM on Wednesday
me: la la la
its international lazy day today?
my dad left d office!
atie: tu la
kusya pun dah blah dah
and i am soooo damn sleepy
Sent at 4:29 PM on Wednesday
me: ferk
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday

Note to Self
Dear Abs@Jay or whoever, whatever your name is at the moment.... If you really are that lazy y the hell did you colour the 'Google' word exactly? why?Why?WHY? I demand an answer you insane person u! By the way this is a lame excuse for an entry!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mothers Day

Yesterday was Mothers Day.

Well other then my mom I wanted to wish all the mothers that I knew via sms.... but I didn't wana send any of those lame'o' fwd msgs.... So it took me a whole day before I managed to come up with something which I thought was good (I thought it was- but read on and see wot it evoked from aunties). This is what my msg said:

Me and my bro had a long day cleaning the house, cooking a gourmet meal for mom and showering her with love. How do mums do it everyday? Happy Mothers Day! (of course I meant that in awe)

Aunty1; We do it with love thank you.

Aunty 2; When there is love everything is possible

So as you guessed most of the replies were similar to that...I felt like a total ungrateful ass..but as soon as Atie(she aint no auntie) replied me I was in stitches!

Mum with sense of Humor; By hiring a maid? Hehe. Say hi to your mom n thanx for the wish.



n. One of two or more words, such as night and knight, that are pronounced the same but differ in meaning, origin, and sometimes spelling.

I just added an 'O' on to each 'squiggly' and WALLAH! Homophones in image form!

this was done using MS Word and Ms Paint eheh ~_~

Friday, May 9, 2008

I _ _ _ _NY?

What do you think? eheh couldn't help myself =D

BTW i did not 'jumpe' this. Its my own creation..or should I say innovation (using MS Paint at work - no softwares ere)

Monday, May 5, 2008

Episode 18 - Malaysian Dreamgirl - the Good The Bad The Ugly

Episode 18 was rockin! Thanks to Alison. They should have had an award for BBB (Beauty with Balls and Brains). You just got to love her! She is just so funny, witty, smart, loony, cute, matured, adventurous, eloquent, approachable, charming, the list goes on. I sound so in love with her I know...but I am...actually we are in love and I know it could make the other girls sick how we display it so publicly. By the way before you get all hot and start thinking gay (pun intended) thoughts, I must tell you that we just really happy to have found each other... Everything is purely sisterly....seriously. Oh and we do look alike so its kinda like being in love with yourself! How narcissistic!

Looks like I have swayed from the point... yes Episode 18! Jay and Nadia were not there during the whole wrap up session where most girls put forth their views on the show and other girls (I say most cos some were as silent as death). I dont know why Nadia was not there. She didnt even join for the lunch at Fork and Spoon at Kota Damansara (they were the ones who sponsored the FnB during the finale i heard). I went for the lunch after which the girls were supposed to shoot off straight to RedFM to go on air. I had told the producer that i couldn't make it cos they only told me the night before the finale... and Karl Ng had asked me to be his muse for Fashion Gateway 2008 hosted by MODA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course la I picked Karl Ng! Sorry MDG, but Im all set to be warped into the real fashion world.

OMG I have so much to say! I will try breaking it down instead....

Fashion Gateway 2008
go check here...
008/index.html hehe

Malaysian Official Designers Association - filled with the who's who in the industry. Chaired by Mama G a.k.a Gillian Hung. checkout the website! eheh

Where was it held?
1 Utama, Oval - Fashion on 1 (yeap same place as the MDG finale)

The event rocked cos.....

i. I met lotsa ppl and designers. Von Jolly (yeap the guy that made the superbo batik couture dresses that we wore during the finale) was there and he told me how he loved my walk ~_~ grin

ii. I didn't have to rush around cos I was the muse... damn I felt like celebrity haha. Actually Yuen was his muse too...she is really tall! I think 5'11 whoa!

iii. Me and Karl took picture with Dato' Bernard Chandran ( I will smack u with a trout if u dont know who that is!) and he remembers me from Project Runway
! Yippee!

iv. Hung out with a cutely tipsy Winson Tan ( check out his creativeness at

v. Took Polaroid pictur
e (thanks to with Tengku Azura!!!! I heart her sooooooooooo much. I dont think she knows but I just cant find the appropriate way to tell her. Daymn.....again I sound like I have a crush! I dont.... I just admire her so so much. The first time I saw her walk was during a Seed fashion show in Mid Valley last year... she was so captivating and her walk was so strong and full of attitude. I would wait for her to appear every round, somehow the other models seemed to disappear before my eyes. Thats when I knew! I wana be a supermodel like Tengku Azura.

vi. Ma gu
rl Cassandra Patrick was there she is Miss Malaysia Model of the World 2007 first runner up. Cassie is so daymn kewl and awesome she rocks! She was a muse for Bonz. We hung out eating yummy finger foods like brownies (mind u they were really small like they would fit in Barbie's hand - so dont worry bout us gettin fat) and cupcakes and some weird thing that was served in a soup spoon. It was full off onions. You should have seen her face when she put it in her mouth. One minute she looked like Princess Fiona in her human form the next she was totally ogre! Thanks Cassie... I opted out.

The event suxd cos...

i. I don't know who took the picture with Dato' BC for us so I dont have it!

ii. Something happened backstage and it appeared that the models became the muse and the muse became the model. Yes Yuen and I weren't
in the photo Op.

iii. There was lotsa Vodka ...but I couldnt help myself much as I was driving back alone =( Plus I did take a glass but someone cleared it after my 3rd sip =|

iv. my car got over heated and broke down! I managed to pull up at Kinrara RnR. With the amount of steam that came out of my car that day Nothing will ever be Over (thats because it would have slimmed down the fat lady so as the saying goes 'it aint over till the fat lady sings'). Yeah well I spent few hours there messing around before my Hero came and saved me. I sent the car to the workshop. I got my car back yesterday with a fat bill of RM703. I went with my dad. But I paid of course...then he was like hrmm..'send your car to wash...wash the engine when you want to sell of your car in the future it will look well maintained'. So Im like yeah ok. what the heck rite...since I already spent 700 now lets make it look brand new la with another 4o bucks. But as soon as the car was ready and I started driving the speedometer started fluct
uating and finally stopped! The idioiks washing the engine wet the sensor and now I have to change the sensor and the speedometer! Talk about extra costs!!!! GOD Help Me. And Tan Chong Motors if you are reading is not to late to give me a Latio

PS. I got interviewed by TV2 along with my dear Karl. Will be on tv sometime in June it seems =D

a Thank You note

This was posted by me on the Malaysian Dreamgirl Facebook on the 4th of May 2008. I would like this message to reach all those who have supported me.

Wow. It feels weird being back to reality. That 2 months that I was away somehow seemed to be an alternate reality for me. I had learned a lot and gained much experience from MDG but most of it psychosocially.

When I came back the first thing my dad did (other then hug me of course) was to show me the blogs. I was (and still am) very moved and touched by the support shown by so many people I do not know. Thank you so much. Because of you my drive to be better and bigger has grown stronger. The only way I can thank you enough for the support is to not let you down.

I cant thank you enough but if you do see me on the streets or anything don't be a stranger and do come up to me and say hi. I may or may not be able to remember all your names but please do know that when I am successful someday I acknowledge that its is indeed because of everyone of you.

Much love,
Jay ~_~

How it all started

It all started when I moved in to a house with 12 girls about 2 months back. I cant really explain how Malaysian Dreamgirl (MDG) is the cause or rather motivation for me to start blogging. Maybe it was because I was surrounded by bloggers...Ringo is a blogger, Kenny is a blogger, and we were visited by lotsa bloggers including Tim from NuffNang. Maybe I realized that this was the best way to be heard. Maybe because I'm just too damn lazy to have a diary (its sooo yesterday...but I never had one anyway so its soooo last century). So many maybes, but the point is I want to or rather am making an attempt to blog. By the way I hate this picture of me. I look so freakin evil. I look possessed! No offense to the photographer or whoever who chose this picture.

The one in the picture is Gemma not Jay. Some of you might have met her. If you have you are definitely the lucky few.